Robert Pattinson His Life ™

Greece

Friday, April 30, 2010

Ted Casablanca’s Twilight Bitch-Back!

Dear Ted:
I have a challenge if you’re (legally) willing to accept! My friends and I are all admittedly huge Twilight fans, and this whole “bisexual shenanigans” (or however you put it!) among the cast has got me, my tight-knit group of friends and our collective gaydar going nuts trying to give it our very best in figuring it out! That said, can you name two or three castmembers who are very, most definitely heterosexual? I unfortunately don’t have a rescue dog or kitty (yet), but I do donate to some of our local no-kill shelters every month. Thanks, Ted, hate to love the column, but I so do!
—Mandi
Dear Bi Curious:
Will one Twi hetero tide you over? Billy Burke. Shocker, I know. And thanks for the donations—so important to keep these animals from being killed whenever we can.
Dear Ted:
Just to let you know you are my own brand of heroin, yes I just made a Twilight reference but you are my drug. I feel that the readers, including myself, should get to know the guy behind The Awful Truth. You talk about the celebrities and its time that we get to know you more. I suggest we play a game of 21 questions. So here we go. Question 1: Which celebrity or person would you swing to the other side for? Mine would be Kristen Stewart any day.
—Faye
Dear Answer 1:
Nikki Reed,
so I could get back to the other side as quickly as possible.
Dear Ted:
I love all things Robsten but here is my beef. Do Rob and Kristen honestly believe they are fooling anybody with their denial anymore? I get the feeling that the desire for secrecy is coming from Kristen and that if Rob had his way he would shout it from the rooftops because he is really proud of his girl. I may be way off base but it’s just a vibe I get. What do you think, Ted?
—Tina

Dear In On It:
Of course they know you guys know they’re a couple, but they also know that if they admit it you guys won’t get as riled up about their so sneaky outings. Remember, they love watching you watch them, got it?

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